October's Reading List.

For those of you following my reading habits, here is October's reading list.

1. Charlie Wilson's War (George Crile)
-"The true story of how a playboy congressman, a rogue CIA agent, and a beautiful Houston socialite joined forces to lead the largest and most successful covert operation in history."
- I'm reading this one because I realized I know very little about Afghanistan's history and I'd like to change that.

2. Getting Things Done (David Allen)
-"The Art of Stress-Free Productivity"
-I've added this book to the mix because I want to be able to help my clients be more effective and have less stress! :)

3. How To Win Friends And Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
- I've already read this book, but it's been awhile, so I'm going to re-read it. This is the quintessential book about building friendships, maintaining relationships, and dealing with personal and professional conflicts.

4. 3) Afghanistan (Stephen Tanner)
-"A military history from Alexander the Great to the War against the Taliban"
-I hate starting things and not finishing them. This was on September's reading list but I didn't get far because, frankly, it's boring. But since I've started it I've decided to finish it...

These ought to keep me busy for the next month.

Cheers!

September's Reading List.

I'm on a kick to read one book a week and to include in the mix some books that are outside of my comfort zone. I have finished Tuesdays with Morrie and now I'm on to the second one on the list. Stay tuned for the October list, coming soon :)

-------

1) Tuesdays With Morrie (Mitch Albom)
-"An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson"

2) Lone Survivor (Marcus Luttrell)
-"The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10"

3) Afghanistan (Stephen Tanner)
-"A military history from Alexander the Great to the War against the Taliban"

4) What Every Body Is Saying (Joe Navarro)
-"An ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People"

LifeLessons, 2009 ed.

LifeLessons is a series I write once a year and sometimes more. I realized that I am late this year; I've provided last year's link in case you'd like to get caught up.

http://theblondephilosophy.blogspot.com/search/label/LifeLessons

(I still consider the 2008 edition my best yet, but shoot I had to learn a lot to write it!)

1. Names are very important to most people. Learn someone's name, correct spelling and all, and you are a step closer to having a friend.
2. Don't take out your cell phone to text, check email, or make a call if you are on a date or out with a friend who is important to you. It can wait. Trust me. However,
3. If said person takes out his/her phone and texts/checks email/makes a call, then it is perfectly appropriate for me to do the same until said person puts the device away.
4. Find out what someone is good at, and compliment them on it.
5. When you wake up in the middle of the night, appreciate the quiet and pray for anyone who comes to mind.
6. Lay out everything for the morning: Shoes+nylons+underthings+d

ress/suit+jewelry+handbag.
7. Keep makeup in the car and THE lipstick within reach at all times.
8. Be gracious.
9. Be grateful. And make time to be grateful. It's not something you can rush.
10. Notice when someone does something for you, thank them for it. In a tangible way, if possible (ie. note, email, text)
11. After a date, I really like a follow up text message or phone call.
12. It takes one person to have a crush, but two to have a true relationship.
13. Shoes make quite a statement. Be careful what you do with them.
14. Curly hair makes a statement, too. I'm just not sure what that is yet.
15. A simple "thank you" is sufficient acknowledgement to a sincere compliment.
16. Yes, a second application of sunscreen is probably advisable.
17. Never be too busy for what is eternal. Remember that some people are alive today because they missed death due to an "inconvenience."
18. Spend some time reflecting on people you spend time with. Then increase time with those who make you want to be your best, and decrease time with people who don't have this effect.
19. On that note, that doesn't mean you stop loving them. It means that sometimes we're just a seed in someone's life and not the gardener. Spread the responsibility.
20. Thinking about someone? Call them. Minutes on cell phones are cheap these days.
21. A paper card will never, ever be replaced by email.
22. Be your family's cheerleader and your friends' biggest fan.
23. It doesn't matter that the rest of the world has gone digital and I still use film. Maybe I like it better. :)
24. Listen first, ask questions next, then speak your part.
25. If it's raining and I must choose between an umbrella and my coffee, I'm going to get wet. Just saying.
26. Your true friends are the ones who love you for who you are but who make you think of how you can be better.
27. Tip well if your server really really tried.
28. Emailing myself when I think of things to do has been a pretty effective way to stay on top of it all, and thank GOODNESS I have a Gmail account to keep it all together!
29. Stop stuffing down suspicions so deeply that you no longer feel them.
30. Smiles are contagious... spread them :)

Potholes, Church, and Starbucks.

I heard such an amazing speaker at church this morning. I would not venture to try to capture the words here without giving him the proper space and credit, but in short, the speaker was emphasizing how the Bible calls us to not "crawl under a rock" when it seems like the world is spinning out of control. Rather, we are called to be the strong ones, the ones who have a Higher purpose and a deep and unmoving settling of the heart that is impervious to the world's whims. Further, he emphasized the Scripture's passages about the wise servants and how they were given additional responsibilities and earned the trust of the business owner. (If you are curious, the passage is Matthew 24). But anyways...

After the service, I stopped by the health food store for something I needed. I then stopped by Starbucks for my caramel macchiatto. Naturally, I have come to know the baristas and I try to keep up with their families, second jobs, college classes, and lives in general. One particular lady, a new mother, was working today and we chatted for a couple of minutes; She commented on my dress and said I looked nice. I said "thank you, I've just come from church," and she smiled and tilted her shoulders in that way people smile and tilt at people who say they "take tea" in the afternoons and watch "Wheel of Fortune" and listen to NPR. She even went so far to say "Awww, church." (Side note- Thanks, Bekah, for teaching me to just say 'thank you' to a compliment. I'm getting better, really, I am!)

I'd invited a young couple from Friday's dinner to visit my church, and to my surprise and delight they came this morning. So I was feeling compelled to invite someone else, so I smiled at this lady at Starbucks and asked her if she goes to church, and if not, would she like to visit sometime? She looked somewhat sad and said softly, no, no, we don't go to church.

She started to talk to me, but we were interrupted by the (apparently uncaffeinated) woman behind me, anxious to pipe up with "Yes, Church!"
We both turned to her and she gave her order for her vanilla-frappuccino-thingy

and then said "Some of the contemporary services are even fun. It's not even like you're in, you know, church." She stopped just barely short of saying entertaining, but I could see it sitting there on her mind, stopped only by the fact that church is maybe not supposed to be entertaining.

I don't fault her for feeling the need to jump in on a somewhat quiet conversation, but she was, as I said, pre-caffeine and I do some pretty strange things without my coffee, too.

So I thanked the barista and told her I'd see her soon, thanks for the caramel machiatto, have a wonderful day, etc., etc., but I was troubled when I left. How is it ok, I asked myself, that Church has become a quaint Sunday morning ideal. And when did Church become somewhere we go, to satisfy our own desires or longings or ideals or our family's nagging or our own guilty consciences.

And why, I ask, do we feel like we have to water down the Gospel, the message, the heart-wrenching grace of Jesus' life and death, to get people to want to go to church? Why do we have to become like the world to bring the world inside? Why can't we bring the church, or rather, Jesus, to the world? Some say that YOU and I are perhaps the only Bible someone will ever read. I'm sad that we, the people with the Message, have felt the need to be like everyone else in order to be heard. (I want to note here that I'm sad because I am guilty of all of the things I'm about to say below.)

I'm sad that we've felt the need to bring entertainment to the Altar in order for people to come. My question is, if WE, those who claim to follow HIM, were truly different, would we be better messengers? If we were true and transparent, humble yet respectable, steady but not haughty, lovely but not vain, happy but not delirious, trustworthy but not secretive, giving and loving out of sheer abandonment, content but not mediocre, careful but not cheap, funny without the hurtful exploitation of others, passionate without building walls... Would they come? What if WE, His people, were better listeners and wiser counsel, better friends, better wives/husbands/brothers/sisters/citizens? What if we stopped holding ourselves to the standards of others, and started holding ourselves to the standards of Christ?

Where would you fall? I know I'd fall short of what He has set as an example. Wait-there's more for me. I'd fall short of what He has COMMANDED. The Bible is not a book of suggestions; The Bible is a book of commandments. Do we fail? Yes. But the shortest way to someone's forgiving heart is to admit you were wrong, or that you failed.

I don't plan to be the ostrich sticking my head under the sand while I watch the world trip and fall into her moral potholes, built on roads that seemed strong but are really crumbling under the surface. Am I going to fail? Yes. But I'm forgiven, and I've never been one to settle for mediocre.

Thanks for letting me share. What do you think?

Orlando bound :)

Micro-Blogging.

(Just because I feel like it)

This rain is making me feel like finding a cool corner at the Starbucks and spending the evenings writing, reading, and meeting up with friends.

I wanted very badly to allude to something today but bit my tongue.

I love how my daddy always locks the door when it is storming.

Tonight was a good evening because I made an english muffin with springtime honey and some butter and talked to my mom about the day and boys and the weather and church and Jesus and other things.

I'm thankful for very good brakes in the car and especially safe drivers.

I'm excited about some plans here soon to move in with some of my favorite people.

I'm really glad my little brother got to go along today.

I'm so very thankful that there are brave men and women who choose to serve our country and who keep us free.

The end. :)

First road trip disaster

Pretty downtown until the rain started again! But we needed the rain,
so...

Mobile blogging test.

The RuMMate(R)

You all have probably seen these at your doctor's office. They are helpful to the staff and other doctors because they signal what is going on in that room and how long they can expect to be waiting, or what is needed to assist with the procedure. Essentially, they are status flags that communicate something important.

So lately I've been thinking about getting a couple of roommates and getting a house over here in South Tampa instead of a 1 bedroom apartment. I've never had roommates before, mostly because I like my own space. So I've invented something to help ease everyone into this living arrangement. Enter my brainchild, the RuMMate (R).

The RuMMate (R) helps solve your housemate problems by clearly indicating your status at any given time. It will be easy to install outside of each bedroom door. Your housemates may not have checked your Facebook status recently and may erroneously guess your mood or status, causing awkward moments and uninvited intrusions. It would be available in the following editions:

RuMMate(R) SiMPLE (for Men):

Three flags:
Red (busy/not alone)
Green (come on in)
Yellow (You can come in, but make it quick)

RuMMate(R) DeLUX (for Women):
Eight flags:

Green: Come in/ let's chat/ I'm available/ I'm dressed

Orange: I'm craving some peace and quiet/I'm hungry and/or uncaffeinated/tread lightly and please don't ask me to do anything that requires leaving my room/chocolate might be a good idea

Black: Bad mood/stay away/come back later

White: Naked/not presentable

Red: Slightly emotional/crying/suffering

woman-type symptoms/tread lightly

Lt. Blue: Resting/Happily napping or in bed for the night. (Quiet, please)

Yellow: I'm here and available if you need me/I've got time to chat and laugh/ I've got time to listen

Dk. Blue: Not here/making a Starbucks run

___________________
So what do you think? If you had one of these, would you use it? What would your flags say or indicate?

Conversations of Late

"These are my driving shorts. I drive in them. They are short enough to not impede my driving, but long enough to not get honked at when I'm pumping gas."
-----

"I got your graduation announcement. It looks really nice!"
"Thanks! It came with all these directions... use this envelope here, fold there, put in that envelope there..."
"Did they come with those tissue paper inserts?"
"Yes, but I didn't use them.... and they can't make me!"

-----

"...What was weird, though, is that the print from your graduation letter rubbed off onto the announcement."
"Like, a lot?"
"Well, it's noticeable. Maybe if you had used the tissue paper inserts..."
"They can't make me!"

_____
"Know what's bad? I can't remember which guy it was who told me he loved to eat crab-legs. We had this whole conversation about it, how he goes to the all-you-can-eat crab-leg night and spends like $30.00, and it's like the best thing ever. I just can't place which boyfriend it was..."
Mom: "Oh well."
-----
"Excuse me, do you all have any film I could buy? I've only got six pictures left and I want to get some shots at Cumberland Island."
"No... can't you just delete some of your pictures?"
------
"Excuse me, do you all sell film here?"
"No, sorry..."
[After I asked the salesperson if they had film, some guy trying to impress his girlfriend waited until I started to walk away before he smirked "Film? That's like, so obsolete." And I was like "Know what's obsolete? Your hairstyle and sunglasses. 1990 called and wants them back." Ok, so I didn't say it so him- but I was thinking it.]
-----
-My parents "suggest" that I have my morning cup of coffee and even point out the closest places.
-----
- If you honk at Cameron when you pass her on her bike to/from Starbucks, she will not look at you.
-----
- If there is a cafe that has soy-lattes in the vicinity, I will find it. Even in a small island town. I will even pour out an inferior, previously purchased one once I find the right one. I have not been so successful with finding film rolls for my 2005 Canon SLR.
-----
- Last Friday my parents took me on a day trip. We left early in the morning (10:00) in order to take a boat ride over to a deserted island. After hearing some interesting, historical stories from a "park ranger" (cough, cough) we struck out on our own. Bravely, we managed to avoid flesh-eating insects and piles of large animal dung. Since we had to carry all of our provisions for this day trip, we had to split the remaining blue-cheese dressing on our salads three ways and a communal vote allowed Dad to have the only Pepsi. We then hiked for the rest of the day up an multitude of sand dunes, pausing only to be hurried on again with threats of "the last ferry is leaving in 11 minutes." In the distance I began to see beautiful, sparkling lakes with free-standing, air-conditioned cafe's next to them and my dad starts planning how he can hike ahead of us fast enough to ask the boat to wait for his daughter who is seeing things that do not exist.

After walking through the wilderness I receive a call on my iPhone that encourages me to keep going. I'm renewed with a sense of purpose. I soon pass what appears to be body bags sitting in the sun and I point and say "See? See?" (I later learn that they are solar-heated shower bags for the people camping overnight). With only a minute to spare, my mom and I make it to the boat, reunited at last with Dad, who has been waiting for us on the dock's rocking chair and praying that she and I make it in time and I do not have to utilize my U.S. Military connections to get us rescued. There was a bright spot, though: beautiful, wild ponies with windblown manes who grazed in the ruins of aristocracy's past. I am told that this place is called Cumberland Island, but I have my doubts.

______

Cameron will suggest a Starbucks run before I will. And she will insist that we can make it in the 5 minutes before they close. And that is one reason why we are friends. :)

-----
[On the 27th floor restaurant in downtown Jacksonville, overlooking the skyline and trying to name the bridges]
"Why yes, I know exactly which bridge that is. That is the beautiful Red Dragon bridge. The locals call it the Red Dragon bridge because..."
[Sometimes when I don't know the answer to something, I improvise. Everyone at dinner was enthralled with my story until the waiter busted me :( ]

Playing Catch-Up.

Sorry I have not posted in awhile. No particular reason... just haven't. I guess I've just been really busy! Here you'll find a sixty-second guide to what's been happening lately:



Went to Jacksonville to visit my parents...

Found a cute coffee house....










Still having issues with my hair...










Went to JAX beach with mom and dad...












Got a cool present... a pen/laser pointer/ flash-drive......!






Spent Saturday afternoon making homemade apple pie for a BBQ...












Went to the BBQ.... with the pie and 30 deviled eggs...

Whew! So now it's April and just as busy....
Probably some deeper thoughts and better writing soon!

Conversations of Late

True stories. This stuff really does happen to me. Really.
______________________



[Jeff is walking me through cleaning out my Mac's hardrive over the phone]
"Chels... it's like midnight... is it too late for me to tell you how find the application?"
"That depends. If it's like trying to find a husband, no, I'm too tired. If it's like finding some chocolate, I probably have enough energy to do that tonight."
"Well, it's not as hard as finding a husband. Probably more like finding some chocolate."
"Bring it!"
..........................

"If these were stone-age times and I was a caveman, I'd totally club you over the head and carry you back to my cave."
........................................
"Nice camera. How many megapixels is it?"
"It's not... it's film!"
"They still make that?"

(Later)
"How will you know that you got everyone in the picture?"
"I'll use the viewfinder...?"
........................................

"....Sometimes I pee off my balcony. But only late at night. And I go to Wal-Mart when I... well...."
"?!?!?"
"Well, I don't have any plumbing!"
(Only a little brother would tell his big sister such a thing. For shame! For shame!)
__________________________________

[In the kitchen after 97 West]

"Remember, B. Men like ladles, garlic presses, and letting dishes 'soak' overnight..."
..........
"Dang it... what are the chances of me getting TWO left handed rubber gloves out of the box?"
"Um, they're ambidextrous."
"Oh."
__________________________________

[At the Apple Store, looking for an external hardrive]

"What about this one? It has 250GB and a 'drawstring carry case.' "
"Like you need to carry more stuff around in your giant pink laptop bag."

This random woman at the Apple Store was staring at J. Finally she said, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Hunter Kemper?"
J. and I have no idea who this is. Apparently he is a famous triathlete and and her son's idol. So we chat for a few minutes and then J. walks away to continue looking at the MacBooks. The woman and I keep chatting, and she continues to stare at him. Not wanting to be rude, I sort of stand there and wait for him to finish looking.
"Yep. Just like him. Ivory skin, kind of that slim build..."

Now, while she says "slim build," she starts making an up and down motion with her hands towards him, trying to emphasize "slim." At this point I decide I don't care if I'm rude or not- I do not want to be near this woman who is making shapely motions with her hands in the Apple Store. Or anywhere. Especially towards someone I know. So I just walked away and then poked J., who was sufficiently and simultaneously flattered and creeped out too.
We left.

_______________
[In a text-message]
"hi i had a blonde moment went to westshore mall instead of intl. plaza running late be there in a few."
(Only Tampa would have two malls like a mile from each other. Sooo confusing! The sad thing is I went to Westshore Mall and was like, wait, there's no Apple Store here...")

_______________

(In a sing-song voice)
"You are sooo husband shopping today!"
"Am not. Just because I brought homemade apple pies does NOT mean I am husband shopping. I just felt like making them. But hey, for twenty bucks, I'll tell all the pretty girls at the BBQ that you made these delicious deviled eggs."
"Pshawww. For twenty bucks, I'll let you tell them that I caught the chickens with my bare hands and then made these eggs."
"Oh geez."

[Later, in retaliation, said to a pretty girl]
"Well, he did help me make them, but he didn't know that the eggs come out on their own and he didn't have to go in after them..."
________________

"You'd run the A/C full blast too if you had fire, and not blood, coursing through your veins."

________________
"Chelsea, don't give me a man-task and then come by and tell me how to do it better."
(true, true.)

_________________
Just when you think you know someone, and they know you pretty well, they come out and ask a silly question like "Well, why do you wear shoes that hurt?"
(Because they matched my dress...?

_________________

Much more next week... I have an exciting weekend ahead of me. Much thanks to the accountants out there, helping people like me who were never very good at math. April 15 is coming soon...

The Blonde's Philosophy On Car Care.

I've put this off long enough. I wanted to believe that a girl going to an auto repair shop would be treated with respect, given the proper fixer service, and happily sent on her way. I wanted to believe that I could put my foot down, with a sharp stiletto of a click, and not succumb to the lies that a simple oil change mill would toss my way. I wanted to believe that a car pedigree that runs deep and thick in the McNabb blood would protect me from salesman tactics.

I got duped.

There, I said it. And you know what? I'm not ashamed. I'm not even embarrassed. But wait- I'm getting ahead of myself. Fast forward to last Wednesday. I knew I'd be driving up to Jacksonville, and it was time to get the oil changed in my faithful 1996 Toyota Camry. 206,000 miles and it still runs like a charm. This is mostly due to regular oil changes, good care, and very meticulous previous owners. The only quirk about cars like this is that it is imperative that one use Castrol GTX oil because of the high zinc content. A car of this age and mileage needs a certain viscosity in the lubricant; just any old oil won't do. Newer, lower mileage cars don't need to have this because their interiors aren't as old. So, in order to not get dirty, I go have my oil changed at those drive-in places BUT I always bring my own oil and filter. I also watch them do it, to make sure they put the cap on (Yeah, that happened once, too) and put fluid in the window washer squirter thing.

So Wednesday I purchase a giant, 4 quart container of Castrol GTX. I also purchase a high-quality filter. I am doing this on my lunch hour so I don't have time to take it to my "regular" place but instead take it to the Texaco Xpress Lube place. There were two red flags, and as I'm still trying to figure out this whole growing-up/life thing of course I didn't listen to them. The first red flag was that it was called "Xpress" so there was a spelling error. Secondly, the sign clearly said "Ladies Day." Now, every time I hear "Ladies Day" all I can imagine is Michael Scott saying it in that lounge-lizard voice, and that just creeps me out a little. Now that I think of it, there was a third red flag: it took no fewer than 4 (yes, FOUR!) men to bustle around my car for a simple change. I handed over the oil, popped the hood, fixed my lipstick and checked some email. A hyperactive blonde guy with yellow safety goggles (what, like it was going to explode?) comes over to my car and very sorrowfully says that he needs to talk to me. Flashbacks of past visits to the mechanic start to appear in my head and I start to have trouble breathing, and I begin to wonder if all my unmentionables are accounted for. My fears come to rest, however, when I realize that he wants to tell me that:
a) Air filter is shot
b) Transmission fluid is shot
c) He recommends an oil flush
I tell him thank you, but please just change the oil. He sighs and says, "Ma'am, really, it's just as easy for me to put a NEW filter in as it is to put this old one back in." "Thank you, please just change the oil." (sigh.) "Ma'am, the engine is dirty; I'd recommend an engine flush and get it all clean! We'll do it right now!"
"Hmm. How much is it?"
"Ten dollars."
"Nope. Just the oil change, thank you."

(My engine is NOT dirty, thank you very much)

Defeated, he walks away. Man #3 comes by and says "Where do you want the extra oil?" and I tell him the trunk, please. I pop it and he puts it away. Now, if I had been paying attention, I would have said, "There shouldn't be any extra oil; it holds 4 quarts" but hey, I wasn't.

Long story short: I got to Jacksonville, my dad checks out my car, and guess what? There's NO OIL in the car. Not even enough to wet the dipstick. And there's 2.5 quarts of oil left in the container. My blonde math says that there was only 1.5 quarts of oil put in the car, then, right? Right?

By the way, the air filter was not "shot." I mean, it was dirty, but it's supposed to be, or it's not working... right?
Also, we replaced the transmission fluid two weeks ago when I was up here last.

Hopefully the engine isn't blown. I'll know more tomorrow when I start it. We filled it with oil and tightened everything up.

Ohhhh it makes me so MAD!

Highway Nostalgia.

I love to drive. Don't get me wrong- I usually like getting to my destination, too. But I've never minded road trips or extensive driving time. There is just enough distraction to keep me alert, but no so much to distract me from my thoughts. I've said before that I'd never settle down with someone until I'd taken an extensive driving trip with them; you can learn so much about a person this way. If one were to peek inside my head in the car, you might hear the following:

"Shoot, I think I'm going to be late. Where's my makeup brush?! Oh, here under the emergency brake release. Good. Do these clothes match? Am I going to regret these heels today? Ok, ok... focus...agenda.... orders, meetings, reports... You know, electric trolleys rolling down Bayshore Boulevard would solve most of Tampa's public transportation problems... What is the difference between arrogance and confidence? Oh, it's going to be a busy day..."

So you see that driving certainly brings out some interesting areas to ponder. City driving has some good times, but usually I get to my place before too much time has passed, and I'm usually tapping the steering wheel in anticipation for my destination. Highway/trip driving, however, is different. For some reason driving on the highway makes me think about the past and the future, much more than the current state of being. I find myself thinking about childhood memories, past relationships, and life-changing experiences. Future dreams and ideas frequently find their way into my mind and I confess that sometimes I punch an entirely different direction into the GPS just to see how many hours I would be, theoretically, if I decided to be a sojourner for awhile. I even start running through my head what is in my suitcases, and how many days I'd have of clothes and hair conditioner before I'd have to get more.

Yesterday on my way up to Jacksonville I had LaceyDog in the backseat and a cup of sweet tea in the cupholder. I got a phone call from a friend I had not seen since September; as you can imagine, we had a lot of catching up to do! I'm grateful for friends who are great listeners. I plugged in the iPhone and hit shuffle, and you know what? An entirely new song came up! I don't recall downloading it at all, but it is quickly becoming one of my favorites. It was like finding money in my pocket! It is "So In Love" by Ted Lennon. YouTube it- you won't be sorry. The chorus is "I just want to be in love... I want us to be in love...Don't you want to be in love? So in love..."

It sounds a little bit sappy, but the acoustics keep it from being so. It got me thinking. Why is it so hard to just be? Why is it so hard to live in the moment, consider the future, and just be enough? Sometimes my dreamer tendencies keep me from living fully in what is happening right now, and who I am right now. I find myself saying "Well, when I can run that far, I'll..." or "when I get that degree, I'll..." or "When I get my heart fixed, I'll..."

It's hard for me to truly admit that I've changed. I have not decided yet if I like it or not because it is too soon to tell. I'm leaning towards "not liking," but I have to believe that the changes I feel inside are because I am being prepared for something I cannot see, which will surprise me just like that new iPod song did.

Maybe things change us. Maybe changes beyond our control change us beyond control, too. I know, for instance, that leaving Cuba after seeing a church packed with people hungry for Jesus changed me. I'll never forget seeing so many people with both desperation and joy in their faces, stand in a hot church shoulder to shoulder to watch The Jesus Film in Spanish on a 24 inch screen, television sitting on a chair and a power cord strung across the floor. It changed me. Watching my parents go through this scary time in our lives, changed me. Hearing my dad say to my mom, "Hun, you don't need to go the the doctor with me this time, I'll be right back.." and seeing my mom roll her eyes like he is talking craziness. Of course she's going to go with him and he is a silly man for thinking she'd rather be anywhere else.

Watching him get on the airplane with a promise and nothing else, changed me. Waking up one morning and realizing that when the going gets tough and they leave, changed me. Learning that it's when they leave that you see that maybe they never were really there to begin with, changed me. And something inside changes you to believe that promises break and people have intentions but intentions aren't really enough when it's all over, are they?

So you see that the highway brought up some interesting thoughts yesterday. This could be one of my longest posts to date, and I'm thinking that perhaps I should start on what I've been writing about today...

Here's to freedom, the open road, reliable cars to get us where we're going, and surprise songs on the Shuffle :)

"Mondays have an excuse. It's Tuesdays I fear." (JT)

Indeed. Feeling that The Monday was finally behind me, and looking forward to a shortened week due to my trip up to Jacksonville Thursday afternoon, I was surprised at what Tuesday decided to toss my way. Apparently, LaceyDog got into an empty milkshake cup from Steak N' Shake. Not happy to simply eat the few remaining chocolate chips, and the cherry, still in the bottom of the cup she proceeded to mangle and eat part of the styrofoam. She then proceeded to tear up the plastic cover. That still not satisfying, she apparently ate or otherwise destroyed half the drinking straw. Further investigation also revealed an entirely empty and shredded Valentine's Conversation Hearts box, strewn about the living room floor.

All that was left of it was a small sliver, with TO: JEFF, LOVE: MOM delicately scripted.

A paper towel also met its fate behind the blue chair.

This dog is ten years old. In people years, that's like your grandparent suddenly going nuts and throwing around all the china. Out of character for LaceyDog, but she is apparently upset that the family is not all here.

Let's just say that LaceyDog is, ahem, bloated. I think if I ate an entire box of Conversation Hearts I'd feel bloated, too. So I left work early and took her over to the vet, who proceeded to poke and prod and then... Success! $80.00 later I have an Rx for Pepcid AC. And a couple of relaxer pills (for Lacey, not me, although after this day I wanted some.)

So I missed 97 West tonight so I could keep an eye on her tummy. Feeling nostalgic, I started going through some family pictures. Before I knew it it was almost closing time for Publix, and seeing that I have very little in the kitchen right now (I've been traveling, so don't start with me) I figured I'd better scoot over to the store. Before I went, I surveyed my fridge which had some yogurt, cottage cheese, milk, whipped-cream, barbecue sauce, some potatoes, and cheese... hardly enough for meals this week. A girl's gotta have her some Rice Krispies!!!

I still had my yellow sundress on but threw on my flip flops. I stopped for a fruit smoothie and went on my way.

I might add that I also had to go get all the makings for a "Sundae Send-Off" party for someone leaving the Firm. (shout out to Leala! We'll miss you!)

So I get three 1/2 gallons of ice cream, cherries, hot fudge sauce, nuts, sprinkles, whipped cream, chocolate chips, and brownies. And I search for an empty checkout lane so that people don't pass judgment on the girl with all the junk food.

So I'm in the checkout line and oh geez, there is this very attractive man getting behind me in line. So I'm figuring I've blown my chances because of all this stuff on the conveyer belt. But wait... our eyes meet. He looks at my purchases, and I look at his. So I look over and see that he has boxes and boxes of cookies, brownies, cake, and pastries. He says, sheepishly, "I don't eat this way... I'm in charge of a company party..." and I'm like, "No way! I'm planning a party, too! I don't eat like this, either." I point convincingly to my cup that clearly says Smoothie on it. He says, "Yeah, I'd rather have fruit."

So he smiles at me and I smile at him...

And that is all I'm going to share :)

In case you were wondering, I am still (yes, still) exceedingly mad at you.

The end.

Countdown to JT's Graduation :)

I'm so proud of him!

News.

Everything and nothing is going on here in my little corner of Tampa! I've been very busy at work. The weather has been so beautiful; I am getting outside at every opportunity and enjoying it. 

It is very quiet here at home and I'm having those moments where I realize that all the drinking glasses sitting out are mine alone, along with anything else that is out of place. It's a funny feeling. Tonight I baked a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies and now I'm sitting here wondering who is going to eat them. Besides work I've been busy getting back into those things I love to do, as well as some new experiences. J. is teaching me to drive a stick-shift, and it is amazing to me that I am this old and have never learned how to drive a 5 speed. It's fun but challenging.       J. says there aren't any online classes and I'll have to learn through practice.

 :(

I went over to my favorite spot to watch for some airplanes tonight. I feel sort of cheated, though, because the only planes were going to the Air Force Base and the only thing close was a helicopter. I took advantage of the time though by finding the little dipper and the big dipper, as well as some other constellations. It is cold here tonight so I couldn't stay long. 

Yesterday was fun! It was J.'s birthday so we went to dinner. Afterwards we went to the Apple store and he got himself a 16G iPhone. He's so excited. We were too full to have cake (he doesn't really like cake, anyways) so we skipped dessert and went driving instead. It was a fun evening. I have a very busy weekend coming up, between the art show, the Gasparilla Film Festival, the Steeplechase, a birthday party, and other events. 

Sorry this is short and not very intellectual. I tried, really, I did. I've just had a long day and a longer week and I have some sleep to catch up on. 

Cheers!

Ok, I promised!

Sorry it has been awhile since I have posted. There have been a series of events here of late. Nothing bad, just stuff. My charger died so I was using the laptop at a minimum, but now I have a new charger, and all is well. Today is Dad's third day of treatment and it seems to be going well. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that he has cancer, that this silent and angry thing is inside of someone I love. Stranger, too, is the rush of changes that have come into our lives. I know this is an unhealthy way of looking at this, but I find myself putting things in a short perspective. When someone comes to me with a complaint, or some bit of unhappiness, or a problem, I am measuring it against the seriousness of cancer and the fragility of life. Like I said, I know this isn't healthy- but is is so easy to do it, easier still to say not to do it, and so very, very hard to keep my thoughts towards others in the right spirit. This has had positive and negative ramifications. Tonight at the grocery store a new lane opened up and the person in the back jumped over to it, rather than letting the sweet old people buying a birthday cake have it. I just smiled at them and said, "Don't you hate that?"

Alternatively, some complaints seem so petty to me that I can't make myself take them seriously. This is not good. I know that people say things because it is something they are pondering or in some way feel connected to. 

Along with this comes the guilt of knowing that it isn't about me at all, and silently I chide myself for being a sad example of a Christian for letting worry even make her way into my heart. I appreciate it when people ask me how he is doing, when they press for more details. I mean, it is easy to say "Oh, they caught it early... we think he's going to be fine," but in reality we want to share. We want to talk about where he is, what sort of treatment he is undergoing, what the success rate is. We want to hear that someone is praying for him, that they know someone who had this type of cancer and is in remission.

Please keep him in your prayers. Thank you for all the support and please know that it means a lot. I'm sorry I have not gotten back to everyone individually, but you have not been forgotten. 

Love!